Survivors Guilt

8am Monday morning call with one of our top leaders. Subject of the call is “Required Meeting”. Then I get the news… As part of my company’s reorganization my position and reporting structure is being changed…

Change is not easy, but in my opinion it is a necessary part of life. In this case the change for me is a pleasant one. The position I am offered aligns with my skills and passion. Beyond that, my new manager is someone I respect and believe can help me grow personally and professionally. All of this is so new and exciting that when they ask me if I have any questions, I simply reply, “no, and thank you for the opportunity”.

All of this sounds great, but unfortunately not everyone gets the same call, and not everyone leaves the conversation feeling excited. In fact some will leave the call shocked, confused, angry, or even afraid. For them the news is as abrupt as a car crash, and the resulting damage and injury is just as severe. I purposely use this analogy of a car crash because the impact is unexpected, and it is likely not do to their actions, but the result is very real and the the recovery will take time.

I have no idea where you are at today. I don’t know if you are one of the many that are struggling in the world of this current reality? Or maybe you doing ok? What is confusing to me is the flood emotions I now face… I want to celebrate my new opportunity, and the fact that restructuring allows me to use my unique skills and abilities to make a larger impact. However, I also feel immense sadness for many whom I consider close friends who have less spectacular moves, or whom were let go and now unemployed. How can I be happy when they are sad? Isn’t this selfish, or arrogant, or a display of lack of empathy?

Reality is that this is part of the grief cycle and each of us will process the situation different. This made more sense after listening to the podcast episode The shock of being let go. Maybe you will find this helpful, or maybe you need talk with someone. Regardless, it is critical to understand grief, and to be courageous and strong enough to seek help.

The truth is we cannot control our circumstances, but we always have a choice about how we will respond. We can choose our attitude. I am going to choose to be positive. I am going to grieve as necessary. I am going to be empathetic to those who need encouraging, and helpful wherever I can. And, I am going to dive into my new role with all the passion and excitement I can bring. How will choose to react?

If you are struggling right now, you are not alone.. I hope you have a friend that you can talk to. If you’re afraid to talk to them, text HOME to 741741 and someone will help you. Or email me anytime.

As always, I wish you the best

Douglas Diemel

More links and info below:

a very timeline message from this Sunday
A great book I recently read that emphasizes we can choose our attitude every day.

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